that seemingly impenetrable heart
by Yui Miyamoto
Summary: Was the Ikebukuro Station really the second time Subaru and Seishirou met after Ueno Park?


**fandom – Tokyo Babylon/X  
title – that seemingly impenetrable heart  
pairing – Seishirou + Subaru, Kamui + Subaru  
rating - pg  
description – Was the Ikebukuro Station really the second time Subaru and Seishirou met after Ueno Park?**

**disclaimer: Yui doesn****'****t own X or Tokyo Babylon. Clamp does. I****'****m just so in love with Su, Sei, and Hokuto that I can****'****t bear to not read more about them****.****  
**

**And that seemingly impenetrable heart  
by miyamoto yui  
**

Shwap, shwap, shwap.  
The pretty, green-eyed boy with his yellow raincoat (courtesy of his adorable sister, who wanted him to "stand out" in her creations) stood, dripping water that pouring down from the heavens. He was flicking his right wrist with an upward and downward motion to shake off some of the water that attached itself to his black umbrella.

When he was done, he went into a café called "Duklyon" and found the person that he was looking for. It was a client who, despite the fact that he had already been paid, was so grateful that he wanted to take out the young onmyouji user for a drink to "relax" once in a while and "enjoy life". Now that his young daughter was put to rest properly, he was now in a state of peace. He just couldn't express enough gratitude to the young man.

However, he had found a way. When he asked the young man what he wanted to do, he had said that he wanted to take care of animals. He had explained that since his late daughter had loved animals, she'd studied towards that end. The father then gave him a business card to a good vet that he should talk to in case he had any questions about the occupation. After all, this vet was a very reputable person and he had been the mentor to this young woman for a short while. The client further explained, "He's a kind person. You shouldn't have any trouble talking to him, so don't be shy around him."  
Subaru and the man talked and drank coffee for a while longer.

Since he had no more jobs for the day, Subaru decided to visit the address on the card.

It was only the middle of the afternoon, but it was so gloomy. If it weren't for the fact that he always had such a rigid schedule, he wouldn't have been able to distinguish what time or season it was by the grayness around him.  
The rain poured and he continued to hold his umbrella with both of his hands, trying to avoid hitting the crowd of people around him. He pushed through and came to the corner of where the business card said the clinic was.

But his feet grew cold.

Standing against a telephone pole with his gloves holding onto the umbrella tightly, he blinked, following the image of a handsome man who came out of the clinic. He only caught the profile, but the man came out to say goodbye to the woman who was carrying an umbrella with one hand and a cat with the other. He stood under his dark blue umbrella and waved to her while saying something that Subaru didn't really pay attention to.

All the young boy knew was that when the vet with the white lab coat turned around, he glanced at him and then went back into the clinic. For that brief moment, or maybe he imagined it, both of their eyes met. And when they did, he couldn't do anything but stand there and look at the door for a while.

It was more than him being shy…

And so, he decided that he would go there another day.

He decided to try again the next day. Even though it was raining relentlessly and he was scheduled for two jobs that day, he still found the time to visit the clinic.  
His eyes closed as he sighed once his heart began to beat faster and faster with anticipation. He didn't want to bother a complete stranger and it didn't help that his shyness was something that made this ordeal three times as hard.  
The young boy knew what he wanted to say and what he wanted to ask, but the actual execution of these things were completely foreign to him at that particular moment.

There was just something about that person that drew him in and he wanted to get away because it was too overwhelming.

His umbrella couldn't handle the rain any longer. He began to notice that drips of water were coming down in tears from the rim of his black hat. Today wasn't the day either.

Nor the next day or the one after that…

It had been a couple of weeks, and diligently, the beautiful young man came with a hopeful face as he leaned on the telephone pole for support. He would catch glimpses of the vet through the window or when he came out the front door.  
Whenever there was a flyer or other in the front, he would get one, but then he would run away all over again. That was just about the closest that he ever came to the shop.

There were even nights that he came to the clinic and even though there was no one there, he would look at it in fascination, wondering what that person did all day. Hoping that maybe someday he'd be able to do the same thing, or at least, for now, be able to go into that clinic. He would look at the closed door and become a bit sad.

If only he weren't a coward that way.

One night, the door suddenly opened and the young man scrambled away. He ran so fast that by the time the lock and door were opened, the vet just blinked. He stepped out for a moment and smirked to himself while shaking his head.  
"Just say hi anytime, you know," he called out to no particular direction, but hoped that the target of his message would reach the intended audience.

Subaru had heard various things about this vet, from the way he dressed to the way he took care of the animals so lovingly. He happened to hear both adults and children speak about him in such a excited manner. The man even got into the local paper because his clinic was that good, but he was as humble as ever.

That made the green-eyed, young man melt even more. How could he not admire such a person? And it also made him more intimidated.

Besides, what could he have said about his own job as an onmyouji user? He didn't want another person telling him how odd he was or "cool, show me your stuff" bit. Maybe that person wouldn't have been that way; maybe he would have been.

His sister, despite everything, could only suspect something happening with his moods and expressions. That was all she could have relied on since he never really talked much about how he felt about everything.

But something inside of him said, "You have to meet him, Subaru. You really have to."

Many more weeks passed and the opportunity never came. Subaru was just too scared about what everything would have entailed and so he decided to just admire this person from afar. It didn't help that every time he tried to, Fate would step in and interrupt his attempts.

However, one day, in between jobs, he chased a shiki that flew above his head as he ran across a train station platform. He tripped and when he looked up to the person that had offered to help him up, it was the vet!  
His face felt so hot that he knew he was blushing. His mouth opened, but he couldn't say anything, except "thank you" while he got up with the man's hand pulling him up.

All the words he had thought of to say vanished instantly like steam rising from a boiling pot of water. The only thing that ran through his head was,

"No, I don't want to fall in love."

But when that person said he'd take him to his clinic to put some band-aids on his face, he couldn't do anything but feel helpless at this person's kindness. He was gone when they started to talk and talk about various things, as if they were old, childhood friends.

Before he left that day, the vet named Sakurazuka Seishirou came close to him and leaned on the doorway. He whispered to his ear with a smirk in his voice and said, "Next time, just knock on the door, okay? I'll always be happy to have you come in."  
Adorably, Subaru turned crimson because his breath tickled his ear.

Subaru knew though. Ever since he looked at that person in the rain, he knew he had already fallen from grace.

That's why when his sister teased about the vet falling for him at first sight, he couldn't protest, having to admit something that he was still unable to admit to anyone. Not even to himself.

**+/+/+/+/+**

For a moment, he imagined what his sister would have been thinking and doing now if he had told her what was on his mind. He thought, somewhere, she was laughing at him, saying that if he wasn't busy with "work", then he was daydreaming as he was at that very moment. As always, he tended to think too much. "Subaru!" he imagined her scolding him.

As the sun continued to shine outside the windows of the mansion, birds flew from one side to the other. The young boy named Kamui stared at the light that immersed and seemed to want to completely embrace Subaru's presence.  
Even though Subaru was a quiet individual with a reserve that equaled the metal that made up all the bridges of Tokyo, he could still look at the world with such fascination. He was like a little kid that way. That was a part of him that could never have been erased.  
And Kamui's heart fluttered at this side.

It was a side of Subaru he had never seen before. It was quite refreshing.

Even though he wanted to interrupt him to help him with his tie again, he couldn't find himself wanting to change the scene before him. Especially with Subaru smiling softly to himself as if he were amused. A smile that never seemed to appear on his face, but it looked like it was perfect on that face, despite everything.

"Yes, Kamui?" Subaru asked without turning his head.

"Eep," Kamui thought inside of his head as he stepped forward to present himself before him with his hand on one end of his tie. He didn't say anything because he didn't want to blurt out and ask why Subaru smiled the way he did.  
Subaru turned around and avoided his eyes. With the small smile still on his lips, he gently began to knot the tie around Kamui's neck.

When he was done, Kamui just ended up saying thank you. They both turned away from one another, but then, Kamui glanced at him with a smile on his face. He was glad to witness such an event, even this tiny one.

"A smile suits you much better than a pout, Subaru-san." With an embarrassed, red face, he quickly walked away.

Subaru's eyes followed Kamui's retreating figure and he began to smirk to himself. Then, he blinked his eyes and his eyebrows almost touched one another as he asked himself, "I pout? I don't pout."

But his smile came back to him and he continued to look out the window.

"You used to tell me that, Onee-san."

But not until Seishirou had come into his life did he understand what it really meant to smile without feeling obliged to.

Closing his eyes, he leaned his forehead on the windowpane. His mind was trying to form the image of the vet that used to glance at him happily with that irresistible grin of his. "But where did yours go?"

That person was gone, though, right?

Except even when he saw his beloved Seishirou-san, even after all the passing of many seasons, even with all the things that separated them, he could still look at those eyes so clearly. Even though he looked so angry and frustrated at the Sakurazukamori, he knew that that grin was buried somewhere deep in his heart, despite the protests of the assassin.

But that was something Subaru could never give away. It was a part that was embedded within every pore of his being: Hope. It was the only way he could keep going.

He knew, someday, that he would see that smile once again. It was the only tangible evidence that he had made an imprint on Seishirou's mind.

And that seemingly impenetrable heart.

**Owari. / The End.**

**Author****'****s note: ** The idea suddenly popped into my head. I needed something happy and waffy, so this was the fic. Seishirou and Subaru are at the opposite ends of the "human" scale, but they reflect each other so much. Besides, we always have Seishirou pursuing Suby, so I wanted it to be the opposite. Well, I hope I made it believable.

Thank you, as always, for beta-ing, Rei-chan!

Love,  
Yui

**Tuesday, June 22, 2004**


End file.
